


Four Men in Trenchcoats

by jmtorres



Category: Askewniverse, Highlander
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Present Tense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-01-10
Updated: 2005-01-10
Packaged: 2017-10-20 21:12:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/217147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jmtorres/pseuds/jmtorres
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three o'clock in the afternoon, in a parking lot in New Jersey: four men in trenchcoats approach each other in pairs. The blond one is waving a sword.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Men in Trenchcoats

**Author's Note:**

  * For [j_crew_guy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_crew_guy/gifts).



Three o'clock in the afternoon, in a parking lot in New Jersey: four men in trenchcoats approach each other in pairs. The blond one is waving a sword, screaming, "This is our fucking turf, bitch. I'll fucking kill you. I'll kill you both!"

Inside the nearby Quick Stop, Randal, leaning one of the fridges, asks, "What the fuck is that psycho doing now?"

Dante looks out the window. "You don't think he actually thinks he's Chronic, do you?"

Outside, the man approaching Jay holds out his hands, empty. "I am Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod," the guy announces. "I'm not here to fight you," he says. "I'm just here to visit an old friend."

Jay looks over his shoulder. Silent Bob comes forward and-- _hugs_ this Duncan guy.

"Brother Robert, it's good to see you."

"Jesus, Lunchbox, this guy's your brother? Why the fuck didn't you say anything?" Jay asks, shoving his sword back into his coat.

Silent Bob gives Jay a look that suggests Jay is a big idiot.

"We're not brothers," says the guy who's apparently not his brother after all. "When I last knew him, he was a monk. As to why he didn't say anything, he had taken a vow of silence."

Silent Bob nods vigorously.

"Shit," says Jay, "if you took a fucking vow, why do you always pipe up like a smartass when you got a point to make?"

"Probably, he can't stand to let the stupidity go uncorrected," says the fourth man.

"Who's this mouthy motherfucker, then?" Jay asks.

"Adam," he says, holding out his hand.

"Like, Eve and?" Jay asks.

"Not exactly," Adam says with a tolerant smile.

"What the fuck do I know," Jay answers conversationally. "I'm new to this thing and the tubby bastard here," jerking his thumb over his shoulder, "won't tell me anything. Say, you know that Lilith bitch? Is it true she got kicked out on her ass 'cause she liked to top?"

Silent Bob rolls his eyes and shrugs apologetically.

"Stop telling 'em I'm full of shit," says Jay. "I got a legitimate interest in religion. We fucking met God."

"Really," says Duncan. He looks at Silent Bob.

Silent Bob nods ruefully.

"What, I'm not supposed to say anything?" Jay asks. "We don't talk about God? It's against the Rules?"

Silent Bob smacks Jay upside the head in exasperation.

"Don't suppose you'd be willing to break your vow to tell that story," Adam asks with interest.

Silent Bob gestures at Jay.

Jay takes his ski cap off, rubbing his head. "Yeah, so, God has this thing for skeeball..."


End file.
